Whoops

So, it looks like I messed up. See, the planner doesn't have Sundays. It just has a little section on top of Saturday where the evenings usually go for the other days. So basically I'm a day ahead.* What does this mean for you? It mean, unfortunately, that I will not post tomorrow, because I have a day off. Woohoo! It's a good thing too, because I probably need the rest.

I spent all of yesterday wiping my butt, and resting, and all of today using a bidet, and resting.** I'm thinking about using my trash bags full of used toilet paper to keep the coyotes away. I just have to hope they're not like other canines I know. Anyways, I hope that all wasn't TMI for you, and I'll see you in a day or two!

~Felderburg




*This would explain why the sheep farmers were surprised to see me. Luckily, sheep farming is an all-week job, so it didn't really matter, I guess.
**Bidets are surprisingly hard to find. There were several not-so-good ones that I found initially, before finally settling on a fancy hotel with old-school plumbing fixtures. I thought that quality really should not be compromised in a situation like this. The fact that I had to skip out on paying a very expensive hotel room and left the bidet much unimproved is alright with me--I think the clean results are worth it.

Fond Memories With Sheep, and a Terrible Toilet Trauma

So yesterday was spent at a sheep farm. It wasn't quite like I had been led to believe, but it was still really, really, really awesome. I got to do all kinds of things with the sheep, like shear them, play with them, milk them, weave their wool on a loom... I even got to watch a sheep and a goat make love. It was great, watching that inter species romance... Love like that is something we should nurture more, whether it be between a sheep and a goat, two people, or even a sheep and a person. True love is just a wonderful thing, and should not be denied.

Anyways, yeah, sheep farm. Good times... gooood times.

Today not so much. Maybe it was the sheep I ate ou--uh, ate, or the lamb we had for dinner, but something has gone terribly wrong in my digestive tract. I have been pooping all day, and I'm only taking a break just now to get this posted. I don't know if I'll have the energy to do anything today. I won't disgust you with the details, but suffice to say this is probably the worst toilet experience of my life. Imagine taking a whole can of Metamucil powder, sitting on the can for an hour, and then taking a bottle of Ex-Lax while your insides are still being poured out by a team of miniature firemen who's hoses are hooked directly to everything inside your body. Seriously, if it didn't feel like my insides were burning I'd be convinced I could put out fires with the stuff that's coming out of me.

Yeah. Anyways, I gotta get back to the bathroom. Until next time (if I survive).

~Felderburg